John Kelly (aka Johnny Dangerously)

Jocko Dundee

Tommy Kelly

Lil

Danny Vermin

Ma Kelly

The Pope

Burr

Sally

Gabe, the Newsstand Vendor

Mary Margaret Catherine Dineen

Pat

Roman Troy Moroni

Radio Announcer at Movie Premiere

Priest

Vito

Young Johnny

Governor

Mayor

Desk Sergeant

Delivery Man

Deathrow Inmate

Girl on Steps

Charley

Arthur