President Chet Roosevelt

Monty Rushmore

Vincent Vanderhoff

Sam Birdwater

Jerry

Eric McMurkin

Lucy Beth

Oklahoma Daredevil, Roy Budnitz

The Earl of Manchester

Kip Margolis

Larry Miller (Poopy Butt)

Himself

Missy, VP Advertising

Mouling Jackson

Danny Olson

Jimmy Dumphy

Big Jim, VP Research

David Eisenhower

Moishe Weitzman

Abdul Muhammad

Narrator

Student

Americathon Stage Dancer

Chris Broder

Dancer