Heavy is the head that wears the antler crown is a lesson you don’t learn until much later in life… if you ever even learn it at all. Everything’s about to get really wild(erness), and we’re so excited (so excited!) and so, so scared to find out who paid attention to what lessons and when. So, on the count of three, you may pick up your pencil, open your testing booklet, and start this finale exam. One… Two…

Shhh, it’s only going to get worse from here. Despite the whole “winter never’s gonna end” thing, the 1996 New Jersey state girls soccer champions decide to start their spring training early with an impromptu cardio session. Callie encounters an old flame, Van proves goalies never say die, most of the adults intentionally commune in the sharing shack, and, Lottie, baby, I hear the blues are calling for tossed salad and scrambled eggs. Mercy!

Sometimes the best therapy is cranking the hits to eleven, so today we’re exploring the hardcore kid-care revival movement, 11 o’clock theatrical birdcore numbers, some late hits of the renovationwave era (call us about a spinoff!), flower duets, and a classic live record. Out in the wilderness, Coach Scott does a great Karl Havoc impression for an unimpressed Misty.

Trapped inside on a snow day, the Yellowjackets revisit the highlights, humiliations and traumas of “Health Class.” Tai and Van help each other kindly rewind, Misty explores joining a classic Cosmic American tribute band, Lisa helps Natalie carp the day, and Shauna gets a pop-quiz on her cookie-reading assignment.

Okay, Fellowjackets, rise and shine and don’t forget your booties because it’s coooold out there. Misty makes a leap of faith for her bestie, Natalie and Lottie play a game of surrender, Shauna finds herself unexpectedly randy, and Tai seeks out a movie recommendation.

Relive your youth by hitting the road! Take a roadtrip with your child! Go on vacation with a new friend! Hitchhike, if you must! Just make sure you pack a good playlist for the ride. Some recommendations from us: “Anything You Can Do,” “You Get What You Give,” “Instinct,” a famous composition by Frank Comstock, but absolutely not anything from “Starlight Express”.

The girls experience an unusual hangover. Shauna learns the thrill of peer-to-peer car rentals. Natalie audits Lottie’s class in emotional apiology. Tai reflects, Misty hits the high seas, and you’ve never attended a baby shower like the one the Yellowjackets throw here.

The Yellowjackets barely made it through summer in the woods, but now as winter begins to bite, we’ll see if hunger and desperation turn into full-on psychosis. While there may or may not be a dark and powerful force inhabiting the wilderness, their survival could depend upon what they choose to believe. Meanwhile, twenty-five years later, each survivor must ask themselves – Is the darkness coming for them, or is it coming from them?

Two months into winter the survivors cope with falling rations, low morale and their latest disastrous attempt to freeze a teammate out of the game. Shauna explores the secondary market for Yellowjackets memorabilia, while Taissa, Misty and Natalie all seek out best friends, both old and new. For those of you keeping the stat book: Lottie Matthews comes in off the bench.