Claire painstakingly plans for a new family portrait to be taken, but it seems like everything and everybody is working against her. Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game and end up having a very awkward moment on the jumbotron; Luke interviews Jay for a school project, and Cameron gets a gig as a wedding singer while Mitchell is home alone with Lily and a wayward pigeon.
Jay could not be more excited to do nothing but indulge and relax in this tropical paradise, but then an unexpected reality check dampens his plans. Meanwhile, Phil is determined to make this trip romantic for Claire, Mitchell and Cameron have opposing views on whether to sightsee or not to sightsee, and the kids get into a little bit of mischief when left to their own devices.
For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise -- a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii -- the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along. Everyone arrives at the airport, and it's a maddening scene with forgotten I.D.'s, security breaches and flying phobias.
Claire is caught off guard when Phil's father shows up in an RV with a little four legged friend, and she becomes suspicious that he might be hiding a larger reason for the visit. Meanwhile, when Cameron hears Dylan is down a drummer in his band, he enthusiastically offers to fill in, and Jay and Gloria have to pay the consequences of accidentally taking Manny to see a traumatizing horror movie.
When Luke and Manny's hot-tempered basketball coach quits in the middle of a game, Jay and Phil both jockey to fill the position. Claire and Gloria each struggle with the realization that they might not be number one in their children's lives anymore, and Mitchell takes Cameron along to meet a prospective employer, but Cameron's big personality doesn't necessarily help to make a good impression.
It could not be more perfect that Phil's birthday and the release date of a hot new product coincide, and he wants nothing so much as to be one of the first people to get one; this is Claire's mission. Meanwhile, before coming to Phil's party, Mitchell is preoccupied with a new found desire to toughen up, Cameron gets himself involved in a neighbor's marital problems, and it's Jay against Gloria and Manny in chess.
Phil and Claire each tackle one of their kids' school projects; Jay and Mitchell set out on their traditional father-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is surprised to see Manny will be joining them; and with the boys gone, Gloria and Cameron go out for some quality bonding time, but not without a few mishaps.
After reconnecting on Facebook, Phil invites his old high school girlfriend to drop by the house, but this friendly visit quickly turns into trouble. Meanwhile Jay accidentally kills Manny's beloved pet turtle, then goes to extremes to cover his tracks, and an overworked Mitchell finally stands up to his boss.
When Phil and Luke embark on a discovery expedition underneath the house, Phil tries not to let his fear of the dark and of creepy crawlies get the best of him. Meanwhile, Claire takes a nervous Haley to the DMV for her driver's test, Manny's sudden illness before a friend's amusement park birthday party makes Gloria suspicious, and Cameron and Mitchell invite Lily's pediatrician over for what turns out to be an anxiety-ridden brunch.
Phil and Claire break from their traditional Valentine's Day dinner date and plan a little "role play" excursion. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's ideas of romance clash when he takes her to a comedy show, and Mitchell and Cameron play cupid for Manny.
Claire feels slightly inadequate when her old friend, Valerie, visits and is nothing like Claire remembered. Meanwhile Jay has an unsettling locker room moment when he and Cameron go play racquetball, and Mitchell tries to help Gloria with some legal problems
Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies might be secretly gay. Jay doesn't believe it for a second... except for all the questionable signs he now keeps noticing. Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil's universal remote.
When Claire finds a dirty picture on the computer and assumes it's Luke's doing, a guilty Phil doesn't necessarily correct her. Jay and Gloria disagree over his beloved life-sized dog butler statue, and Cameron gets sucked into their gardener's woes, much to Mitchell's chagrin.
Gloria is less than pleased with Jay's reaction to the arrival of Javier, Manny's infamously unreliable dad. Meanwhile, Phil is suffering from kidney stones and his dramatics leave Claire no other choice but to call for the hot firemen to rush him to the hospital, and Mitchell and Cameron have a harder time than Lily as they attempt to sleep train her.
Christmas is in full swing at the Dunphy house until the kids get in some trouble and Phil and Claire threaten to take away Christmas until one of them fesses up. Meanwhile, Jay struggles with wanting to stick to his holiday traditions while Gloria and Manny want to incorporate some of their Colombian practices, and Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to the mall for her first picture with Santa -- but end up with a disgruntled mall Santa on their hands.
Nothing is too big when Phil and Claire decide to throw Luke the biggest and best birthday party a boy could ever want, but when Cameron shows up as Fizbo the Clown, it sets off a chain of events that ends with someone in the hospital.
With a history of giving bad gifts, Claire is determined to surprise Phil with an amazing anniversary present: a private performance by one of their favorite musicians, Izzy LaFontaine. However, it turns out to be unexpected in more ways than one. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron call up their "party-girl bestie", Sal, for a long overdue night out on the town.
The whole family comes out to support Manny's newfound interest - fencing. It turns out he's quite masterful in the sport, but Jay's proud enthusiasm triggers an old childhood wound for Mitchell. Meanwhile Phil is determined to find where Luke's hidden talents lie.
It's the first day back at school for the kids and, at the Dunphy house, Phil oversteps when he misreads how Claire is coping with an empty nest. Over at Jay's, he and Gloria are in disagreement over Manny's interesting choice of outfit for his first day of class, and Mitchell and Cameron freak out after Lily gets her first bump on the head.
The whole family is invited to Jay and Gloria's for some barbeque and football. However an earlier incident at school between Manny and Luke makes things very awkward for Gloria and Claire, and then things escalate when a not-so-flattering label is uttered.
Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede, drops in for a surprise visit and is determined to make amends with everyone she offended during what has been deemed "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Needless to say, no one is thrilled to see her and everything comes to a head when the whole family shows up to dinner at Claire's house.
Phil pushes Jay to go out with him and fly his new model plane. While Manny takes time out to play with Luke, Gloria accompanies Alex in shopping for a dress. Later on, Manny ends up having a heart-to-heart talk with his sister Claire.
Phil is determined to help Luke prove to mom that he is responsible enough to have the brand new bike they just got him. However Phil ends up being the irresponsible one when a hot neighbor clouds his judgment. Meanwhile Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to their first Mommy & Me class, and Jay and Manny have some awkward father and son time.
Jay has just recently married his younger, Colombian wife, Gloria, but he's having trouble keeping up with her and her son Manny. Claire is having trouble with her own family, especially with her husband Phil, who thinks he can be hip with his three kids. Also, Mitchell and his partner Cameron adopt a Vietnamese baby, Lily.
