At the airport, Eddie mistakenly picks up West Ham's new Ukrainian star instead of a Ukrainian exchange student. Before the mistake is realised, Sergei helps the Rejects top the league. Bored of not having anything to do in matches, the Rejects welcome Harry Redknapp's proposal of an exchange to get their real players back.
Ben doesn't plan on having a big party when his parents leave him at home for the night, but fellow pupil Ben Porter is. Vinnie mistakenly tells everyone to go to Ben Phillips' house, and a riotous night follows as Renford's coolest people invade the Rejects' night-in.
Bruno attempts to create a record for Renford, until he realises that he has no abilities. When the Rejects decide that will set records without him, Bruno teams up with Terry Stoker to set his own record. When none of the record attempts succeed, the Rejects return to playing football, but play so badly that they set a record for Renford's heaviest defeat.
Vinnie investigates the Razors' tough tactics, and makes Terry Stoker a hero. Terry suggests that he and Vinnie make a ""How To Be A Hardman"" video, which is an instant success. The Rejects study the techniques shown in the video, and beat the Razors at their own game.
Martin Keown takes over as the manager of the Renford City football team, and the Rejects offer him their help. He says he most wants a new mascot for the team, and the Rejects see who can come up with the silliest costume. Despite their best efforts, Keown chooses Eddie.
The Rejects all have after-school jobs to make some money, but put more effort into them than into their playing, and so don't do well. At Graceland's comedy night, Ben shows them that it's enough just to be funny.
Santoro and his bandit gang are threatening the town of New Renford, and Mayhem Millie gets a team of Renfordians from the old country to fight him off and save the town. The Renfordians teach the townspeople to play football, and then decide to return home to start up their own football team back in old Renford.
Mia and Vinnie enter the Ballroom Dancing Championships, and find themselves competing against Basil Stoker. The Rejects take to dancing so much that it improves their fottballing legwork significantly.
Dennis realises that the Rejects need some fans to help them be more successful. His attempts to get them some supporters result in them getting kicked out of the league and the Graceland café.
Mia decides to organise the Renford Sports Personality Of The Year Awards. The Rejects make a pact to vote for each other to ensure that they all get an award. But they end up getting just the autographs of a few celebrities.
Dennis agrees to play golf against Terry Stoker, with a wager that the loser's team will have to lick the other team's boots clean. With such high stakes, and such low natural abilities at golf, there's bound to be some cheating.
Stanley the gorilla escapes from Renford Safari Park, but the Rejects think it's just Ben in his gorillagram suit and put Stanley in goal in a match against the Razors. When the match is abandoned due to the ape, Stoker decides to get his own back and scare the Rejects with his own gorilla suit. It all backfires on him when the keepers from the safari park come to recapture Stanley.
Under their new player-manager Dennis Quayle, the Rejects qualify for the European Beach Football Championships to general amazement, and, despite Basil Stoker's attempts at sabotage, they end up winning the competition.
