After he sets a fire in the basement, Carrie decides it's time for Arthur to enter a retirement home, but Doug makes a discovery that makes him want to change Carrie's mind. Danny and Spence have a face-off over an agreement to swap bedrooms.
Doug befriends a driver from one of IPS' competitors, but eventually discovers it's just a ruse to make him the butt of a joke. Meanwhile, Carrie becomes a mentor for a troubled teen, but isn't the best of influences.
Doug crashes Carrie's weekend company retreat, not realizing she's blown it off for a relaxing day with her girlfriends. Meanwhile, Danny and Spence pose as staff to sneak into a Huey Lewis concert.
Doug and Deacon discover they have more in common with each other's wives than their own, so they start hanging out with each other's wives as well. When Kelly tires of Doug, he ruins Deacon and Carrie's good time. Meanwhile, Arthur dispenses romance advise, and the recipient finds success simply doing the opposite.
Doug's lie to get Carrie to let him ride a rollercoaster at an amusement park blows up in his face. Meanwhile, Arthur lets Deacon shuttle him around in a wheelchair so they can jump to the front of the park's lines and Danny and Spence search for girls to pick up.
In order to afford a cruise, Doug convinces Carrie to cut her hair to sell to a wig maker, but regrets his idea after the deed is done.
The Heffernans hate an anniversary gift from the Palmers so much, they stage a robbery to rid themselves of it.
After Carrie accidentally injures Doug, he milks it to avoid distasteful tasks. Meanwhile, Arthur catches on to the ruse, and uses it to his advantage.
Bed bugs brought home by Arthur from a vacation force Doug and Carrie out of the house while a creepy exterminator does his job. Meanwhile, Spence and Danny argue over where to go for vacation.
Doug and his pals rent an apartment to use as a secret hang-out. Meanwhile, Carrie goes to great lengths to please her newest client, Kirstie Alley.
After she beats him and his friends in a friendly poker game, Doug convinces his mother to try to enter a high-stakes tournament. Meanwhile, Carrie gets Spence to help her lose her accent to improve her chances of getting a promotion.
Doug borrows a baby from Danny to prove to Carrie that they're ready for a family. Meanwhile, Arthur feels he deserves to be a coffee shop's "customer of the month."
Doug and Carrie are roped into helping out at their church during the holidays: he guards the manger, while she tries to bake a cake. Also, Arthur and Spence attempt to write a Christmas song so they can cash in on the holiday.
Doug and Ray Barone have a "guy's night out." Meanwhile, Carrie gets a shock upon visiting her mother's grave.
Doug's karaoke performance gets him an e-mail stalker.
Doug and Carrie hear conflicting reasons why Deacon and Kelly are not interested in becoming neighbors. Meanwhile, Danny and Spence each have their eye on a beautiful Albanian girl, who misinterprets the situation.
A trip to a bed & breakfast becomes more than Doug and Carrie can handle. Meanwhile, Arthur has a romantic dilemma of his own.
Doug's frequent hair salon visits make Carrie suspicious. Meanwhile, Spence has his own adventures en route to a sci-fi convention.
A sandwich named for Deacon at Coopers ruffles Doug's feathers. Meanwhile, Carrie schemes to prevent Holly from moving to Manhattan.
Doug and Carrie both have feelings of not being entirely popular at their workplaces, and both overcompensate to rectify the situation
Carrie finds out that while dating, Doug lied about getting a job to get her to sleep with him.
When Doug and Carrie accidentally get a transcription of one of their arguments, they decide marriage counseling might not be a bad idea. And when Arthur gets hold of it, their argument becomes entertainment for a senior citizens' group.
Doug convinces Carrie to take pole dancing lessons, but is disappointed when she puts on a show for him. Meanwhile, Arthur worries her new hobby is a result of his poor parenting, and smothers her in effort to make up lost time.
