McNeil promises his wife that he'll quit drinking, just to prove he really doesn't have a problem. But he has trouble finding a substitute vice until he discovers the joys of abusing cold medicine. Meanwhile, the squad has second thoughts about busting a marijuana group's pot party when they meet the users.
When Ruben moonlights as a security guard for actress Gina Gershon, McNeil scams his way into taking over his assignment — with disastrous and hilarious results. Frank and the rest of the precinct also sign on to the personal security business with clients, including actor Scott Wolf. Meanwhile, Adinah suspects Pip is cheating on her, and Jan discovers Al has a surprising sideline.
Tommy purloins a telescope from a crime scene, prompting hours of fun for the guys in the precinct, especially when they spy a topless, beautiful yoga practitioner nearby. Jan tries "speed dating" and meets a good prospect, Brad. Meanwhile, Frank repeatedly tries to return a dead body to its rightful precinct.
McNeil and Pip are assigned to take the District Attorney's twelve-year-old daughter on a ride-along for her school paper. McNeil is less than thrilled about their assignment, especially when they lose her in the city. Meanwhile, Frank disguises himself as a priest to draw a confession out of a parishioner, and an unconventional "nun" strips down to more than her habit at the precinct.