Ari Shaffir pretends to be an attorney, Sean Patton taunts his roommate and Joey Diaz talks about a dirty cop who sealed his own fate.

Artie Lange scores cocaine while dressed as a pig, Randall Park reluctantly returns to his middle school, and Steve Simeone performs for gang members.

Ari Shaffir describes a messy trip to China, Nicole Byer shares the worst things she's done while drunk, and Ron White reveals the details of his quest for a missing tooth.

Al Madrigal describes performing in front of a rough audience, Joe DeRosa unleashes his volatile temper, and Felipe Esparza recalls his youth as a reluctant gangster.

Bret Ernst recalls his angriest childhood moment, Moshe Kasher reveals how his friend bailed him out of a jam, and Hannah Friedman remembers her competitive monkey sister.

Kate Willett describes a sexual encounter at Burning Man, Kyle Kinane recalls an unromantic liaison with a teacher, and Nick Swardson tells the story of an accidental orgy.

Jim Breuer reminisces about prank calling his workplace, Kurt Metzger talks about growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, and Ari tells a story about a dog with peculiar tastes.

Henry Rollins and Dan Cummins join host Ari Shaffir to share stories about their psychedelic experiences.