When a blizzard snows the Tobin family in, Beef struggles to avoid cabin fever by running the household like the Royal British Navy. But after a box of special candy is found half-eaten, Judy, Wolf, Moon, Ham, Honeybee, Jerry, and Mr. Golovkin turn on Beef, and everyone gets at each other's throats, threatening the sanity of the household.
As the Tobin family receives their annual oil dividend checks for living in Alaska, they all have different approaches on how to spend them. Honeybee and Wolf attempt to create a homemade gym in their guest house, and Beef, Moon, and Dirt scavenge junk yards looking for an extravagant object to buy. Meanwhile, Judy coaches the local hockey team in hopes of attracting their audience to her one-woman show protesting the dividends.
When Moon gets rejected by his crush for the Lil' Preppers Practice Prom, he goes off-grid for the night and sees a mysterious figure who is revealed to be the long-lost Aunt Dirt Tobin who has been in hiding in a bunker on the Tobin property since 1964. The Tobin family teaches Aunt Dirt all about modern life while Moon copes with his first bout of romantic rejection.
Beef has a one-night stand after a string of bad dates, but quickly becomes embarrassed when Greta Meatweep exposes their sexcapades in the poem column of the local newspaper. Moon becomes Jerry’s Bigfoot little-brother sidekick, and the local clown duo challenges them to a costume battle over the Lone Moose party turf.